If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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