I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
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I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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