the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
