that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize