So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
