i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
