I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
