I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
