She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
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She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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