You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
