I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
