I'm eating all of the evidence.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
