i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
