So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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