Define "chronic" masturbator.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
