I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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