Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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