I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
