remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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