Im at strip club and am horny
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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