just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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