They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
