Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
