i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
