Joe is yelling at the trees again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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