how hairy? two words: wookie tits
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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