So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
