i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
