dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
