Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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