what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
