the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
