Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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