The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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