Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
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