wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
