Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I need to stop coming to work sober
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize