i permit you to call me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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