You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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