Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.