We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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