she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i wish my penis had a tongue
this boner is exhausting
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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