lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
