my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
