I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
