I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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