they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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