I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
