This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
