Someone shit on the floor
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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