she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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