Having a random hookup so left but love u
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
