Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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