Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
