there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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