after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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