Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
