I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize