If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
