drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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